Running out of time.

Don't say anything, just stop the time.. freeze it, stop it, just for a couple month, no..
a couple of days, please please please.
Honestly speaking, i don't know if i can finish it or not.
Just stop it, please..
TT.TT
officially dying.
just kill me now.
*die.
Thanks.

It's been a while.
There had been time that i felt so homesick that i cried so much that my eyes hurt, i'm not ashamed to say that i still cry for several occasions.
I'm living in a dorm with Yvonne, but still, i felt like living alone.
She has courses and usually come home late.
So i eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner most of the time alone,
BUT!
since yesterday, the toilet at ALEX is broken.
so they (alvin,melvin,felix) have to come here in order to take a bath!
haha,, so i've been spending these two depressing yet funny days..
i think i've surpassed my first crisis.
The loneliness i felt, i guess it has lessened bit by bit, by time and by friends and familys.

I'll keep my strength up and fight.
for my target is yet to be achieved.
i'll fight on, and grab that dream up in the sky!

go!go!go!

BLUE

This word comes to me suddenly. It's my favorite song of bigbang's new album. I'm singing my blue. Wish i could say i'm painting my blue?
So, as for my days. It's been another week. Next month i'll move out from my cousin's apartment. I'm going to stay on a student dorm or something like that with my bestfriend.
My class at the language course has ended, so i've taken another class. I've made friends.
There's this girl from mexico. She's just so cheerful that i can't help smiling whenever i see her.
I can feel the similarities between us and also eun hyung, she came from south korea and she's so kind.
The first day class, i was alone and i sat beside her. I've got no copies of the questions they're working on and without a word she pushed her paper, so that i could look at it.
At first i was a little bit scared of being friend with her, since she didn't really smile at me. But now, she's really friendly and caring.
I hope i could make more friend this week! i have a group discussion with norma, eun hyung, tanja and abdi. Maybe i could be closer to them! :p

I hope that everybody could find new friends too!
it's before i cut my own hair and after! which do u prefer?

Vanessa

Chocochip muffin

It's near valentine already and it had snowed. I love WINTER! But the temperature right now is a bit odd. One day it's -7 the next day it drops until -16.. Okay, that's weird.

I've got plans for valentine! Everybody got that too, don't 'ya? I'm making chocolate cookies for my classmates and maybe some for the church fellas. I'm going to a dinner together with church fellas and for the afternoon, I'll go watch movie with the same single friends.

I've just started to go to a art course and the teacher is hilarious, yet clever. I've seen some of his students' portfolio and it turns out great. I hope someday mine will be there too.

But, people hope and try to make it come true, don't you think?

My cousin is going back to Medan for 2 months! How great is that?!

My apartment too, I've been emailing( or you can say blackmailing) the people a couple of times and yet, he wanted me to move this march. Oh great, I don't know if I should move that fast? But, if I don't, I don't think we could get that room. Hm, confusing!

19 1/2

Okay, so now I'm late at the schedule and I don't know if I can make it on time, but I have to, time flies like a jet and before I realize it, I have already running half dead but reach no way near the finish line.
I'm starting to doubt if this is the right way for me, am I someone suitable for this? Or am I just wasting my time? A girl who thinks she knows design but actually just pretends to be?

Bad thoughts starting to come and I can't even stop it.

But will I not regret it in the future? When I take another way, another region of study, will I not regret this option?

I don't know, but I'll try, to take the way I wanted. I know it's not easy, a side of me wanted to quit. But, I just can't.

It's my third attempt to write this post!!!!

Okay, I know it's hard to post from an ipod, but I don't know it's this hard!!!

Yesterday i've tried twice and now, here I hope it'll be posted successfully.

So, it's been around a month since I came to Berlin. I'm beginning to get used to waking up on 6.30 but the sky is still total darkness. And walking everywhere, and also walking around on 5 and the sky is, again, really dark.

I'm starting to get used to be greeted by freezing cold wind every morning, I'm enjoying my life here, really.

And again, problems have never really leave us, we all know that. And here I am, facing a tight-schedule-no-ideas-freaking-out problem with my portfolio. Fortunately, I'm going to start portfolio course on February.

The first week and second week here I really have, totally, forgotten about my portfolio. In this chance, although I don't know if she would read this, but anyway, I was 'waken up' by my cousin, with whom I've been living right now. I don't think a billions thank you will be enough to express my gratitude. But it's better than not at all!!

I came here and live with her, she and her small family welcome me warmly. Making me not that homesick. I felt very accepted and the atmosphere feel almost like home.

But still. I miss my family, but it's because of their supports that I can stay wake this late to do my works. Although I feel a little pessimistic about my portfolio, the thought of them keeps me going on and on.

My bestfriend too, she helps me a lot and give me ideas and all the help I needed. My other Friends too..
I'm grateful that I came here not by myself, but with them. I believe that together we can!!!

Oh, and the food here is extremely delicious, especially the cakes!! Oh my god, Sio sinful yet delicious!! Chocolate is indeed the deadliest weapon of all!!

I wish everybody a good sleep and sweet dreams!

Vanessa

Berlin's prologue

It's been a week! I can't say that I'm not counting, but yeah, here we are, the first introduction week.
Berlin is a beautiful city with efficient transportation ( which I love it very much). I'm livid with Yvonne in my cousin's house. They got cute little guy named trevis!!! Super duper cute. It's very disappointing that due to my computer's-don't-know-what happen, I can't post any photos this time. But I'll definitely post it ASAP!
I've spent Christmas here without snow but I've been welcome with snow the first day I arrived! It's super duper shocking. It's funny to think that my first impression of snow is that it's wet.
Soon my first new year here will arrive. And also, my first new year away from my dearest family :( how sad is that?!!!
But I truly, have to, believe it'll all worth it when the time comes. So now, I'll be patient and will try my best to enjoy my life here.
Everyday we have classes. Don't misunderstand! They're cooking class, washing, etc. I've learnt a little to cook things not too complicated. At least they tasted good. :))
My cousin and her husband are really nice to me. The other cousins too..
I'll post the food here asap! But now, let me enjoy my late night coffee and try to finish my drawing first!!!
I miss my fam at medan... T.T but for them, I'll be strong!!!
Love,
Vanessa